A new poll by the University of Michigan reveals that parents are divided on the appropriate age to discuss puberty with their children, with experts recommending earlier and more proactive conversations to ease the transition.
A recent national poll from the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital reveals that while parents understand the importance of discussing puberty with their children, they remain divided on the best age to begin these conversations and how to approach the topic.
The survey highlights a common parental dilemma: initiating discussions about puberty and determining whether to include information about sex. Parents surveyed were split evenly among those who believe the conversation should start before age 10, at 10, or later.
“It’s easy to assume a child is too young for conversations about puberty, but many parents are surprised to find their tween already showing signs of puberty or asking unexpected questions about body changes,” Sarah Clark, co-director of the Mott Poll, said in a news release. “Starting the conversation early gives parents a chance to shape the message in an age-appropriate way and help kids know what to expect, so they’re not confused or anxious. If parents don’t open the door to these talks, kids may get their information elsewhere, like from classmates, social media, or what they see on TV.”
Various approaches and concerns were shared by parents in the poll.
Half of the parents described their method of discussing puberty as proactive, whereas two out of five only bring it up when asked by their child. A small percentage, around 5%, avoid the topic entirely.
Embarrassment and fear of saying the wrong thing are significant barriers, with one in five parents admitting to feeling embarrassed and one in six worrying about their choice of words.
Moreover, a quarter of parents with children aged 10-12 noted that their children were disinterested in the topic, while nearly a third of parents with kids aged 7-9 believed their children were too young to comprehend the changes.
Credit: C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital
Clark pointed out that parents’ own upbringing might influence their hesitation.
“Whether they realize it or not parents may bring their own experiences into their parenting approach,” she added. “Many parents said they had little or no discussion of puberty when they were young. If puberty was treated as an awkward or embarrassing subject growing up, that can make it harder to know how to begin.”
Another common concern is the appropriate timing and scope for discussing sex and reproduction. Clark advises starting with basic information about physical and emotional changes, then gradually introducing more complex topics over time.
Parents are encouraged to utilize resources such as parenting books and to leverage annual check-ups with their child’s physician as opportunities for education. Involvement in their child’s school-based health education programs can also provide a foundation for further discussions at home.
Despite the challenges, about half of the parents expressed confidence in recognizing the signs of puberty, especially among those with children aged 10-12.
However, less assured parents, particularly those with younger children, indicated they were uncertain about what changes to look out for.
Clark notes the importance of seizing teachable moments to discuss puberty and suggests that ongoing, supportive discussions are crucial as children progress through different stages.
“Puberty isn’t just about physical changes — it’s also a time of emotional disruption, which can make open communication challenging,” added Clark. “Many tweens feel embarrassed or uncomfortable talking with their parents about these changes.”
To alleviate discomfort, Clark recommends offering children age-appropriate books or videos on the subject, allowing them to explore the information privately before engaging in further family discussions.
As parents navigate the complex terrain of puberty education, the consensus from experts remains clear: early, open and ongoing communication is key to helping children feel supported and informed during this critical stage of development.
Source: Michigan Medicine