A new study finds that Reddit is a sanctuary for those with pre-wedding jitters, providing a platform for candid discussion and invaluable advice from anonymous users. Researchers aim to better understand these premarital concerns and offer insights to help individuals make informed decisions.
As the wedding day approaches, doubts and concerns often cloud the minds of soon-to-be brides and grooms. For many, the solution to these premarital jitters is not in traditional advice from friends and family but in the anonymous and judgment-free space provided by Reddit, a popular social media platform.
Research from the University of Missouri and the University of New Hampshire, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, highlights that Reddit has become a vital sounding board for individuals to express their feelings and seek advice regarding pre-wedding doubts.
“We saw that people seemed more comfortable being open about their unease on Reddit,” lead researcher Kale Monk, an associate professor in Mizzou’s College of Education and Human Development, said in a news release. “They’re not just venting — they’re asking for real advice from strangers who aren’t personally involved in their lives.”
Reddit’s anonymous nature allows users to openly discuss everything from significant red flags to minor frustrations, topics they may not feel safe sharing with those close to them due to fear of judgment. This discourse provides researchers with real-time insights into what individuals experience as they contemplate their upcoming nuptials.
“In our previous research, we interviewed people who had already called off their engagements, but hindsight is often 20/20,” Monk added. “With Reddit, we’re seeing in real-time what people are thinking and feeling, as they’re still trying to actively decide what to do.”
The study found that most Reddit users advise calling off the wedding when substantial doubts are present, while others recommend envisioning life post-wedding to make a more informed decision.
It also noted that some individuals on Reddit attempt to rationalize staying in their relationships to avoid hurting their partners, an insight that was different from Monk’s earlier studies where the focus was on people discussing their relationships post-engagement when they no longer had to protect their former partner or justify staying in their relationship.
Monk, with the collaboration of Mizzou alumni and students, utilized a computer program to search Reddit posts containing keywords like “cold feet” and “left at the altar.” These posts were analyzed for signs of premarital hesitation or considerations of breaking off the engagement.
Understanding the significance of these findings, Monk ties them back to broader implications of relationship stability.
“Knowing the early warning signs could provide opportunities to intervene through support or informed reconsideration before partners get locked into a legal marriage that would require a divorce to end — which can be difficult, costly and painful,” he added.
Despite the supportive network Reddit users provide, Monk underscores the importance of professional guidance for those dealing with premarital uncertainties.
“Getting advice from strangers online might feel comforting, but it’s not always reliable,” concluded Monk. “A trained therapist can help you figure out whether your concerns are serious or something you can work through — and that’s a lot better than waiting until after the wedding when things are harder to undo.”
Source: University of Missouri