{"id":3972,"date":"2016-05-06T11:16:24","date_gmt":"2016-05-06T15:16:24","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/?p=3972"},"modified":"2019-03-04T14:22:00","modified_gmt":"2019-03-04T19:22:00","slug":"how-to-rebuild-broken-relationships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/how-to-rebuild-broken-relationships\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Rebuild Broken Relationships"},"content":{"rendered":"

Forming relationships is hard, maintaining relationships is harder, and remedying broken or underdeveloped relationships is the hardest.<\/strong> When dealing with people, there will be complications. When dealing with feelings, frustrations will arise. But know this: no matter how damaged or astray the trajectory of a relationship, there is always hope.<\/p>\n

Here are 3 ways to improve your relationship with people that you don\u2019t naturally \u201cclick\u201d with:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1. Don\u2019t always trust your feelings \u2013 feelings are\u00a0fickle.<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

Feelings are important, yes, but they are fickle\u00a0<\/em>and therefore not to be trusted. Instead of letting your feelings decide your actions, let your actions alter your feelings.<\/p>\n

How? <\/strong>\u27b3 Use the Benjamin Franklin Effect to your advantage!<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n

This seemingly counter-intuitive theory states that we come to like people for whom we do favors. Why? Because we love to justify our actions. If we go out of our way to do something for someone, that person must<\/em> be worth our time and effort. In this sense, actions precede<\/em>, and even determine, our emotions.<\/p>\n

And how can we practically apply the Benjamin Franklin Effect in\u00a0our relationships with people?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

If there is someone you just can\u2019t seem to \u201cclick\u201d with, don\u2019t give up! Try doing them a favor (put down your pride for a moment<\/em>) and see if your feelings follow your action\u2019s lead.<\/p>\n

Feel like that\u2019s being too \u201cfake\u201d or \u201ctrying too hard\u201d?\u00a0You won’t know how you feel about this until you try it. ;]<\/p>\n

Bottom line<\/span>: YOU\u00a0<\/em>have authority over your feelings (not the other way around) and the ability to change how you feel about people and circumstances.<\/span><\/p>\n

2. Speak the Right Love Language!<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

If you speak English to someone who only speaks Spanish, chances are, they\u2019re not going to understand you. It\u2019s the same with feelings and emotions. If you communicate your love in a language that someone does not understand, your love will not be communicated clearly. Even if you feel like you did everything you possibly could to convey your feelings, the other person will simply not understand.<\/p>\n

So, what can we do to ensure that our love gets communicated?<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

\u279b Find out your partner\u2019s love language, and learn to speak it! (You can\u00a0also request that they learn and speak yours).<\/em><\/p>\n

According to Gary D. Chapman, there are 5 love languages:<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n

1) Quality Time<\/strong>\u2013 you feel loved when your partner gives you absolute, undivided attention.<\/p>\n

Example<\/span>: doing an activity together with no outside interruptions.<\/p>\n

2) Words of Affirmation<\/strong>\u2013 you feel loved when the other person uses words to affirm you.<\/p>\n

Example<\/span>: praising you in public or expressing gratitude in private.<\/p>\n

3) Acts of Service<\/strong>\u2013 you feel loved when the other person does things for you without you having to specify what you need them to do (actions speak louder than words!).<\/p>\n

Example<\/span>: bringing medicine and taking care of you when you\u2019re sick.<\/p>\n

4) Physical Touch<\/strong>\u2013 you feel loved when there is physical contact.<\/p>\n

Example<\/span>: giving you a big hug after a long day.<\/p>\n

5) Gifts<\/strong>\u2013 you feel loved when the other person gives you gifts.<\/p>\n

Example<\/span>: giving you a small but thoughtful gift on an ordinary day.<\/p>\n

Is there someone you want to get to know better?<\/strong> Find out their love language and speak it!\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Is there someone you have given up on because of previous failed attempts at building a relationship?<\/strong> See if you have been speaking the right language<\/em>.<\/p>\n

If you haven\u2019t been speaking the right love language, then change the way you speak –\u00a0you’ll start to notice changes in their\u00a0responses.<\/em><\/p>\n

Bottom line<\/span>: A good relationship is one in which each person speaks the love language of the other.<\/span><\/p>\n

3. Learn to listen.<\/strong><\/span><\/h2>\n

Listening is one of the most important life skills that we don\u2019t hear enough about<\/a>. Since\u00a0people are naturally and instinctively attracted to speakers who exude confidence, charisma, and charm, listening (as a skill) can comparatively\u00a0seem less desirable.<\/p>\n

But, when it comes to one-on-one, I would argue that a good listener is much more attractive than a great speaker.<\/p>\n

Think about it<\/span>: a great speaker can inspire us with their words, but a great listener can encourage us without saying a single word! Their presence alone has the power to uplift souls.<\/p>\n

Bottom line<\/span>:\u00a0A good conversation is one in which each person is interested in the other, not themselves. Want to \u201cconnect\u201d with someone on a deeper level? Hear them out. Listen to their stories. Empathize with them.<\/span><\/p>\n

[divider]<\/strong><\/h5>\n

Relationships are hard, and they take a lot\u00a0<\/strong>of work. But no relationship should be \u201ctoo damaged\u201d to the point of no return.<\/p>\n

Just remember, the common factor in all\u00a0of the three tips above is: be intentional.<\/strong><\/p>\n

To make relationships work, make plans louder than your pride, and make exceptions rather than excuses.<\/span><\/p>\n

[\ud83d\udd38This post was originally published\u00a0on The Young Hopeful<\/a>.\ud83d\udd38]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Forming relationships is hard, maintaining relationships is harder, and remedying broken or underdeveloped relationships is the hardest. When dealing with people, there will be complications. When dealing with feelings, frustrations will arise. But know this: no matter how damaged or astray the trajectory of a relationship, there is always hope. Here are 3 ways to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":17185,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_uag_custom_page_level_css":"","_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,592,228],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3972","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-student-life","category-social","category-student-guide"],"aioseo_notices":[],"uagb_featured_image_src":{"full":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships.png",830,533,false],"thumbnail":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships-224x144.png",224,144,true],"medium":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships-300x193.png",300,193,true],"medium_large":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships.png",830,533,false],"large":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships.png",830,533,false],"1536x1536":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships.png",830,533,false],"2048x2048":["https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships.png",830,533,false]},"uagb_author_info":{"display_name":"Yoora Park","author_link":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/author\/yoora\/"},"uagb_comment_info":0,"uagb_excerpt":"Forming relationships is hard, maintaining relationships is harder, and remedying broken or underdeveloped relationships is the hardest. When dealing with people, there will be complications. When dealing with feelings, frustrations will arise. But know this: no matter how damaged or astray the trajectory of a relationship, there is always hope. Here are 3 ways to…","featured_media_src_url":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2016\/05\/How-To-Rebuild-Broken-Relationships.png","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3972","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3972"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3972\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17185"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3972"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3972"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.tun.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3972"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}